I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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