Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize