3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
