Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
