like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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