Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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