I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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