Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
