dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just high enough for therapy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
