I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
