Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
