3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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