Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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