I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
