i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
