In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
