there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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