I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
