So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize