the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
