I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
if only i could text you this smell
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize