dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
