dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize