Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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