Sry I called you an 8
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
