called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize