I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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