Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
