Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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