Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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