People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize