guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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