My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
