My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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