I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
