Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
