And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
