i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
