Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
