On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
