david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
