He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize