its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
how drunk are you?
Several
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
