I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I supernannyed him into submission
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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