I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
