I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The adults are the big ones right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
