It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
