I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
