im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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