If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
