And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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