Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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