I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
