She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
