so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
