yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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