what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
