At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
