He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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