how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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