Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is her dick bigger than yours?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
